Miracles

London is 2 weeks old today! I have been reflecting on what a miracle he is...the transformations he has made in just two weeks. The nurse called the other day after running his tests and said there was no need for anymore home health care because he is so healthy and normal! He had his first check up at the Dr. yesterday and there is nothing to be concerned about! What a miracle! It comes as no surprise to me...my family has seen its fair share of miracles. My life is certainly one of them.

See, I wasn't "supposed" to be born. My mom had a miscarriage just months before getting pregnant with me. It's no accident that things happened the way they did...I have known my whole life that I had purpose on this earth. I am thankful for my brother or sister who didn't make it so that I could. I have always felt like I couldn't waste my life knowing someone died for me to live. (Technically we should all be living this way since this has happened for us all...but that's a whole other thought train)

My dad always called me his "miracle baby" for this reason, and also because my dad nearly died before I was born. He had a triple bypass surgery and developed a staff infection that put him very close to dying.

My sister Megan wasn't "supposed" to live. She was born with a rare condition that didn't allow her to digest food. She would projectile vomit everything that went down. Basically she would have starved to death without surgery. The surgery to correct her condition had just been developed in January of that year. She was born in June.

My dad was a Pastor at an inner city church when I was young. We saw so many miracles during that time you would not even believe some of them unless you had been there to see it yourself.

The year my parents divorced my dad had a massive stroke. I will never forget waking up that morning to a message on the answering machine from a police officer telling my sister and I what had happened. His entire left side was paralyzed, his speech was slurred, and they were telling us his brain was very damaged. We got to the hospital about an hour after it had happened and he was already wiggling his toes and speaking some. The doctors didn't understand how it was possible. They moved him to a hospital in downtown Philadelphia, and when my sister and I got there to see him in his room he wasn't there. We started to panic because we thought he had died...until we saw him up walking the halls. The dr's didn't understand how it was possible. But we did.

3 years ago this June I saw another miracle in the form most people wouldn't call a "miracle". My brother Ross passed away from kidney and liver failure due to a life of drugs and alcohol. I know how that sounds...some miracle, right? Here's the thing...sometimes our miracle doesn't come the way we think it should. Death doesn't seem like a miracle to us...but my brother's death certainly was. Here was a man who had spent his life on wasting things, things that destroyed him both physically, emotionally and spiritually. In his last few weeks of life my dad didn't leave his side. He had so many spiritual awakenings during that time, and gave what was left of his life over to Christ. He didn't want to sit in the hospital and just die. He wanted to make a difference while he still could. He told my dad how he felt he had wasted everything and didn't know how he could do anything for God now. My dad challenged him "before you leave this hospital tonight, go tell everyone on this floor about Jesus". So my brother, frail and dying, went to every room that night and witnessed to everyone he met. He reached more people for Christ in that night than most of us do in our lifetime. My brother was a miracle.

My London is a miracle. It's amazing to see already the joy and strength he brings to people. It seems he was a little pillar of strength in that NICU. Both to the nurses and the other babies. The baby next to him had made some major improvements since he has been there. I love my little miracle. And even if things went totally in reverse tonight... if all his levels dropped...he would still be my miracle.

Living when you aren't supposed to isn't the only thing that makes a life a miracle. It's not about the number of years we "outlive" our projected number. It's the things we do for God and others that make miracles happen. I just want to encourage anyone who is reading this - in case no one has ever told you before...YOU ARE A MIRACLE! Your life is not by chance! Someone died so you could live - don't waste your miracle life!

Day 9

Friday, May 22nd

Today Mike's Aunt Jacque came over to see London and to spend some time with me. She is such an amazing woman and it was a blessing to spend some time with her! Renee' had been wanting to see London all day, so we decided we would drop him off and go on a date. It was so refreshing after the emotionally draining week we had to just be able to spend some time together having fun! :) Before we got to take London over to her house some family stopped by to see the baby :)

London's grrrreat Aunt Jacque and great grandparents! :)

Day 8 - GOING HOME!

Thursday, May 21st

Finally the day we have been waiting for! Seems like this week has been an eternity long! So glad to finally take the little man home :) The dr. checked his levels before we left and everything was looking good. :) We have to have a home health care nurse come everyday though to keep checking all his levels...especially is Bili level. But overall he is a healthy baby! Praise God!

matching :) heheReady to go!

His first meeting with Hunter went so well...those of you who know us know we have been so afraid of Hunter not liking him. We love our dog and would hate to get rid of him! (Although some days I will not say that haha). But Hunter loved London instantly and is already so protective of him!

Our friends have been dying to see him, so we had a little welcome home party for him :). I didn't get as many pictures as I would have liked (so sorry Ash!!) , I was a little out of it. :) Everyone loves him and that makes me feel so special. He is such a treasure and I know God is going to use him to bring encouragement to so many people.

First time in his crib! :)

Hunter likes to periodically check on "his" baby :)

guarding the crib...so cute!

Day 7- NICU

Wednesday, May 20th
Well, in about a half an hour we will be leaving to go to the hospital to spend the night with London! It will be like when you give birth and they let you have the baby room in. So we will get to take care of him but the nurses will be coming in and checking his vitals and all that. He will still be hooked up to the one Bili monitor for his jaundice. But this one is a cord that hooks up underneath him so he can still be held :) Reminds me of ghostbusters for some reason?UPDATE:
Aunt Lindsey FINALLY got to come see him and hold him!!

Rooming in with him went GREAT! He is such a good baby! So far he only cries when he is hungry or needs to be changed! Love him!

Day 6 - NICU

Tuesday, May 19th
I didn't get a chance to go see London until pretty late tonight. I was so beyond exhausted and figured I had better get some sleep while I can! Mike and Renee had gone to spend some time with him this afternoon. Jacinda came over to spend some time with me at dinner and to watch the American Idol finale. It was really refreshing to spend time with her. She is always such an encouragement and so willing to help me with anything and everything I may need. She even brought me some sweet tea just because it's my favorite and I haven't been able to drink it... little things like that mean so much to me!

The nurse told us today that if there is a room available tomorrow they want us to come in and spend the night with London under their care. At first this seemed a little intimidating to me, but the more I thought about it I realized it is a blessing to be able to have them there that first night to ask questions and be reassured of what is "normal". God definitely gives us medical professionals to help us and I am so thankful for people who devote the time to learning all that...it's definitely a lot of hard work! As long as everything stays ok tomorrow night we will be able to take him home on Thursday! Praise the Lord! I am so ready to not have to leave him every night :). Everything with him is pretty much completely normal now... he still has the lights for his jaundice but they are not as high of a degree.

Here are some pictures from the night:

I think this is the best feeling I have ever felt in my life :) And I think I may have a mini me on this earth now. :) (although i have heard mia looks like me haha)

kisses :)

His daddy loves him so much :)

Day 5- NICU

Monday, May 18th
We went early in the morning to see little man. We walked in to the NICU found he had been moved to the NICU East. There aren't as many babies over there and they seem to be not as serious as the ones on the West side. His tube in his nose was gone and his catheter had been removed. His rash looked so much better that his nurse didn't even know he had it except for another nurse telling her. We held him for about an hour... I swear time stands still in my mind when I am holding him! The only thing that seemed a little bit of a concern was his oxygen would drop a little below where it should be. (It needed to be over 90% and would go to about 87%...so nothing too serious.)

Messages for London :)

Mike singing to London...umm this completely melted my heart!!! He is such a great Daddy! He told London to be like his dad and only kiss one girl, and that he wouldn't regret it. (Mike and I have only kissed each other). I hope and pray London has the same integrity as his dad...what an amazing, loving example he has of a what a man of God looks like! I truly believe how we view our dad directly affects how we view God. That relationship is so key to how we approach and relate to God. It makes my heart happy to know that London will have security in who he is in and to God because of Mike. If you only knew the man he is you would wish you could have him as a dad too!!



Later on tonight we went to see London again and found him in his baby "tanning bed." (Must get that from Aunt Megan and Aunt Ashley!) His nurse told us he was doing so well and is just the happiest most well behaved handsome baby. (I wonder if she says this to everyone). She said he really doesn't cry much, he just doesn't like to stay still...sounds like our kid for sure! She told us that their only real concern now is his Bili level due to the Jaundice, which is easy to monitor with him under the lights. She said tomorrow they will try taking him off for a few hours and check his levels. Depending on the results he may be able to go home as soon as Wednesday!!!! Praise God! We only got to hold him for about 10 minutes this time because she had just fed him not too long ago and needed to get him back under the lights. This was probably one of our favorite times with him so far because he was awake the whole time. So stinkin cute!

His face is a little red from the face mask...but oh my goodness I could look at that face all day!

I think he has got his dad's eyes!

He has got his mom's profile!!!

Day 4 - NICU

Sunday, May 17th
Michael and I were finally able to get some sleep, and thankfully in the same bed and not on a hospital bed and a cot! We went to see London around 2:30 and the nurse laughed as she heard us come in and say "Is that our baby??" He looked dramatically better and was no longer on the heating bed! They told us again he kept making major progress. They hadn't fed him through his tube all day, and his rash had improved a lot! They were a little worried about his color (jaundice) but when they tried to put him under the lights it made him too hot and with his rash they figured they would just wait to put him under since he was borderline anyway. He was more alert this time around and even did a little crying for everyone but me...score one for the mom! :) He also passed his hearing test :)

Renee got to hold him for a bit too :)

Mike's dad held him for about 30 seconds...as soon as he started to cry he handed him back to Mike! haha

Day 3 -NICU

Saturday, May 16th

We went to see London around noon and found that they had completely removed his oxygen and he was breathing on his own! As we got there the nurse was putting a tube in his nose in order to feed him. He handled it like a trooper! (He did punch her a few times though) We still were not able to hold him, but it was amazing to see the improvements he had made.
I got discharged from the Hospital around 6:45, during which time the dr.'s are doing reporting for shift change and the NICU is closed. So Mike and I just went home to see Hunter...who was ECSTATIC to see us! We just relaxed for a little and watched some good old F-R-I-E-N-D-S :)

Around 10pm we went back to see London. The nurse told us "your little guy has been making some great progress today". Such a wonderful thing to hear! She told us he was doing well with feeding and that he was even able to take a couple of bottles. The best part was when she asked me "Would you like to hold him?" I about died inside from sheer joy! I hadn't held him since he was first born, and 2 and 1/2 days felt like an eternity!

This was Mike's first time to get to hold him. He never got the chance before they took him away...although he had to watch as they hooked him up to everything and told him things like "Your baby is at very high risk right now". But my Michael is so strong and he was there for the little man every moment he could be. He loves him so much...it's precious!
They were concerned about this rash on his face from all the heat. This picture shows it more than the others, but it looked so bad in person...like really bad burns. His heart rate was also a little low at times while he was sleeping.

We love him soooooooo much!!!!

Day 2 NICU

Friday, May 15th

This day was spent doing a lot of the thing no one wants to do...WAITING. Waiting to hear test results, waiting to be able to see him, waiting to be able to hold him. Waiting. I did finally get to see him late that night, but didn't get any pictures. (I wasn't sure what to expect and wasn't sure if I wanted the camera with me).

His oxygen level had been decreased down to about 49 % most of the day, and was down to about 30 % by the end of the night. (Normal breathing is 21% oxygen). He still hadn't been able to eat, and we were not able to hold him.

My sister Megan had surprised me and come into town Wednesday, so it was nice to be able to spend that time with her while we sat around and waited. Mike, Megan and I are all people that can not be expected to stay in one room all day and not go insane, so it led to some fun and crazy times by the end of the night. (Including some booty dancing...which I quickly realized wasn't as fun to do as I had anticipated...who else booty dances after giving birth??)

In the middle of the night God had woken me from my sleep speaking so much peace into my heart. The presence of God was so strong in the room that it overwhelmed me and brought me to tears. God has revealed to me some amazing things about London, so this whole time I have not been worried about his condition. That time I spent with God was just so amazing... praying for London and for other people in my life He was laying on my heart. I am thankful that even in the hard times I can find strength for anyone who needs it because I know where to get mine!


Here are some pictures from the day...like I said...a little silly :)

Somehow when people read this it must say "Knock a little softer and walk in anyway" haha!

Big feet! Okay, so they typed my name as "Melissa Lae Halverson". My nurse said that was not okay and she told them they needed to change that. She marked a little "m" over it so they would know what it should say. So they brought it back "fixed"...when all they did was run it back through the typewriter. Now i have 2 M's. Hey, anything is better than Lae, right?

My sister was a little obsessed with the foamy hand sanitizer. Just a little.

Being creative with my plant sign...hahaha

Day 1

I have to put a bit of a disclaimer here...since I am having to reflect back to right this I will be missing quite a few of the details. Things were moving at such a rapid pace and a lot of it has become blurry in my mind. Sorry!!!

Thursday, May 14th
I went into labor at about 6:30 am. My Dr. had planned on inducing me that morning due to some possible complications she discovered at my last appointment. She was planning on inducing me at 7am, but my labor actually started on its own before she got there. Things started moving very fast, and the nurses were really pleased with how everything was going. Around 1pm they started to worry about London's heart rate, and tried to speed everything up to get him out within the next hour. The nurse kept telling me things like "this baby isn't going to allow for you to push for long, so you are really going to have to work hard and fast at this, but I think you can do it". I started pushing around 1:30, and with each contraction his heart rate was dropping. My dr. told me she would either have to use forceps or do an emergency c-section, and we told her to do whatever she needed to get him out safe. His rate dropped so low and the monitor started going crazy like you see on t.v...scared the crap out of me! Within a few minutes however, he was out and HUGE! 8 lbs, 10.6 ounces and 20.5 inches! (Born at 1:59pm)

After about an hour the nurse handed him to me to feed him, and noticed his color was not right. (He was dark blue). She took him to the nursery and asked mike to go with her. The next 15 minutes seemed like an eternity of silence in the room. Finally Mike and the neonatologist returned into the room and informed me that they would be taking him to the NICU. He had fluid in his lungs and was having trouble breathing. They used a lot of terms I couldn't understand, but basically he didn't transition well. They got him hooked up to an IV and put a catheter in his belly & got him hooked up to oxygen to help his breathing. A specialist from Children's Mercy had to come and access him and let us know he was hopeful for London but his condition was pretty severe and could require a respirator. He said he was experiencing something similar to pulmunary hypertension, and his lungs were having a hard time with the transition. He said that is not uncommon for infants to not make that transition well, but it is usually not as this severity and it's hard to know the cause of why it happened.

We had a lot of amazing people come to see us that day and pray with us. We were at total peace that everything was going to be just fine. God seemed to be giving everyone the same word to just "be still"...that He was in total control!


Here are some pictures from the first few moments before they took him away:

Big boy :)

Chillin' :)

Mike's first good look at him :)

My first time holding him! Don't hate me because my makeup is intact!