Thursday, August 20, 2009

Ever just have one of "those" days?

Ever have those times when you think "why me?"

Ever think "I'm not good enough"?

I guarantee you have...but maybe you haven't. And I can almost guarantee you totally misunderstood me.

I'm having one of those days
where I wonder "why me"
I'm not good enough...

One of those days when I realize how incredibly blessed I am, and how much I don't deserve it. I have been crying a lot today, not out of sadness, but an overall appreciation for my life and everyone and everything in it. Crying for other people who don't have all I have been blessed with. Wishing the whole world could know what it feels like to be me...not for pity's sake, but because it feels really great to be me.

I bet that line made you uncomfortable. It would have made me feel a little uncomfortable to say at one time, but I'm done trying to feel sorry for myself and make the whole world feel sorry for me too. What is wrong with loving being me? NOTHING. And you need to love being you too!

Every moment of the day isn't rainbows and butterflies, but I am so thankful for my life. Today when Michael came home from work he brought me flowers. This doesn't happen all the time, and it happening today made it extra special. I sat down at the table as the aroma of roses filled my nostrils, staring at my man as he held our baby and just talked to me. I don't even know what he was talking didn't matter. All I could think was "how did I get so blessed?". They both stared at me with their deep blue gray eyes and smiled simultaneously as my eyes filled with tears. They love me like no one on earth ever has, and I feel the same way about them.

I hope you know what this feels like...even though it has nothing to do with feelings at all. It's something that can't be faked or bought. It blows happiness, butterflies and sunny skies out of the water. It has nothing to do with where I am, where I am going, or who goes with me.

It's Joy! Joy unspeakable and full of glory! Joy that brings strength and life and hope!

Happiness is a rollercoaster. Joy is a foundation.

(...more to come...)

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