Ok, so anyone who knows me well knows this to be true:my life is hilarious.
To give all the examples of how and why would take up a lot of space and time, but get to know me and you will get to laugh a lot. Not because I am hilarious, but because my life is one big ball of irony and chaos I have learned to laugh at and use to amuse others.
Here is my story today: (It actually didn't start today, but seems to be the neverending strangest saga of events)
REWIND TO MARCH, 2010.
I take that back...rewind to February, 2009.
Mike and I moved to a townhome at a complex I will leave nameless. Our next door neighbors on the right side (if you're in the house facing the front door) are hermits. Either that or they are always out...in any event, I never see them. I do know they have a BEAGLE named Hunter. If that isn't irony...(if you don't know the story about our non-beagle Hunter, ask me.)
But those neighbors aren't the point. The one's on the other side are the ones significant to this story. (Ok, maybe only slightly...but they just add to it). These neighbors are Wiccans. They have creepy windchimes, the man wears those "cool" t-shirts with the "cool" phrases on them, they have a furry dog that seems to only live in the backyard and appears to have no eyes, they have bumper stickers about the moon and earth and something about eating dragons. (Or maybe it was about dragons eating people). To say these neighbors were unfriendly would be the understatement of all understatements. (Let's just say every time I tried talking to them I feared they were going to eat me or perhaps send out their dragon to get the job done).
Well, one day the Wiccan's moved away. (And the peasants rejoiced...)
They were replaced by a family with 2 kids. Seemed nice enough. They decorated for every holiday and were fairly quiet. I was very happy to have nice, peacekeeping neighbors. I had no problems with them at all.
Not until March 2010, that is.
I am sleeping in my bed and hear a knock (make that banging) on the door. I look out my window and see "OVERLAND PARK POLICE". I figure this is probably one of those instances where I should answer the door, so I throw on a hoodie and make my way to the door with Hunter. I look through the peephole of the door and notice the Police car says "Animal Control". I am figuring this might be some sort of mistake, seeing as how Hunter is in my arms, and had been with me all morning.
I set Hunter down and open the door, the officer asks me to step outside. She tells me she got a call regarding an abandoned dog. She tells me the neighbor said the dog was "thin" and "malnutrition-ed". She asks me if I feed him. I tell her I feed the dog plenty. (My mind is thinking about how this dog eats not only the dog food I constantly keep in his bowl, but also everything from dirty diapers to whole sandwiches off someones plate.)
She asks me to put him on a leash and bring him outside. After looking him over she says "Oh, he looks normal for a Rat Terrier".
[Whew! Great, I can go inside now.]
Nope. She begins to ask me how long I have had him, how old he is, how long I've lived in my townhome. She asks me if he is licensed, and I respond "Umm, I don't know?" So she asks to see mine. (By this I mean my driver's license). She tells me to wait inside until she is done (it is cold outside, mind you). She comes back about 5 minutes later and hands me a piece of paper.
Not just any piece of paper. A ticket paper. A $71 ticket paper.
Because my dog doesn't have a license.
Here I am, perfect record...no tickets, no accidents, no laws broken...being ticketed for my dog not having a license. The ticket comes fully equipped with an optional court date should you decide to plead not guilty. She tells me I have 3o days to license the dog, (which costs only $10) but the ticket applies no matter what. She tells me to have a nice day. (I wanted to tell her the neighbors kids were looking a little thin too...)
Now, this is all pretty ridiculous if you ask me. And if you knew mine and Hunter's relationship you would understand a little better how ironic this is that he got me my first ticket.
Okay, now it's August 2010.
The dog license has long been paid for along with the ticket.
Then something comes in the mail. It's a long letter from the court and an attorney saying how they have made a motion and are holding me in Indirect Contempt. I knew that couldn't be good, and had to look up what that meant. Then I tried to figure out why in the world I was supposed to be at court in the first place. I read the violation code and realize this has something to do with the dog ticket. I call the next day to see if I need to come down. I told them I paid it months ago...they have no record of it. They tell me there's a warrant out for my arrest. (Mike thinks this is hilarious...I lock Mike out of the room.)
Then they correct themselves, "I'm sorry, there isn't a warrant out for your arrest...if you miss another court date there will be". I find out I mysteriously missed 3 court dates for a violation that had been paid months earlier. I go there the next day and pay the dog ticket AGAIN, even though I have a record of the first time I paid it. I just want the whole thing to be done. They assure me that the case is closed.
2 days ago my doorbell rings. (I don't live in that same townhome anymore.) Guess who it is? Yep. POLICE -ANIMAL CONTROL. (I want to open the door and tell them to check on my new neighbor's underground daycare...) They told me they didn't have a record of the dog being licensed still. He just so happens to be wearing his city dog tag. No ticket this time. Just a misunderstanding... again. We're both going through life with our licenses.
So, if you are one to drive with your dog with you in the car, make sure you both have your license on you. It just might save you a whole lot of money if you ever get pulled over. Or if you're like me, it could also save you a whole lot of money if you never do.
God bless Hunter.
Here is my story today: (It actually didn't start today, but seems to be the neverending strangest saga of events)
REWIND TO MARCH, 2010.
I take that back...rewind to February, 2009.
Mike and I moved to a townhome at a complex I will leave nameless. Our next door neighbors on the right side (if you're in the house facing the front door) are hermits. Either that or they are always out...in any event, I never see them. I do know they have a BEAGLE named Hunter. If that isn't irony...(if you don't know the story about our non-beagle Hunter, ask me.)
But those neighbors aren't the point. The one's on the other side are the ones significant to this story. (Ok, maybe only slightly...but they just add to it). These neighbors are Wiccans. They have creepy windchimes, the man wears those "cool" t-shirts with the "cool" phrases on them, they have a furry dog that seems to only live in the backyard and appears to have no eyes, they have bumper stickers about the moon and earth and something about eating dragons. (Or maybe it was about dragons eating people). To say these neighbors were unfriendly would be the understatement of all understatements. (Let's just say every time I tried talking to them I feared they were going to eat me or perhaps send out their dragon to get the job done).
Well, one day the Wiccan's moved away. (And the peasants rejoiced...)
They were replaced by a family with 2 kids. Seemed nice enough. They decorated for every holiday and were fairly quiet. I was very happy to have nice, peacekeeping neighbors. I had no problems with them at all.
Not until March 2010, that is.
I am sleeping in my bed and hear a knock (make that banging) on the door. I look out my window and see "OVERLAND PARK POLICE". I figure this is probably one of those instances where I should answer the door, so I throw on a hoodie and make my way to the door with Hunter. I look through the peephole of the door and notice the Police car says "Animal Control". I am figuring this might be some sort of mistake, seeing as how Hunter is in my arms, and had been with me all morning.
I set Hunter down and open the door, the officer asks me to step outside. She tells me she got a call regarding an abandoned dog. She tells me the neighbor said the dog was "thin" and "malnutrition-ed". She asks me if I feed him. I tell her I feed the dog plenty. (My mind is thinking about how this dog eats not only the dog food I constantly keep in his bowl, but also everything from dirty diapers to whole sandwiches off someones plate.)
She asks me to put him on a leash and bring him outside. After looking him over she says "Oh, he looks normal for a Rat Terrier". [Whew! Great, I can go inside now.]
Nope. She begins to ask me how long I have had him, how old he is, how long I've lived in my townhome. She asks me if he is licensed, and I respond "Umm, I don't know?" So she asks to see mine. (By this I mean my driver's license). She tells me to wait inside until she is done (it is cold outside, mind you). She comes back about 5 minutes later and hands me a piece of paper.
Not just any piece of paper. A ticket paper. A $71 ticket paper.
Because my dog doesn't have a license.
Here I am, perfect record...no tickets, no accidents, no laws broken...being ticketed for my dog not having a license. The ticket comes fully equipped with an optional court date should you decide to plead not guilty. She tells me I have 3o days to license the dog, (which costs only $10) but the ticket applies no matter what. She tells me to have a nice day. (I wanted to tell her the neighbors kids were looking a little thin too...)
Now, this is all pretty ridiculous if you ask me. And if you knew mine and Hunter's relationship you would understand a little better how ironic this is that he got me my first ticket.
Okay, now it's August 2010.
The dog license has long been paid for along with the ticket.
Then something comes in the mail. It's a long letter from the court and an attorney saying how they have made a motion and are holding me in Indirect Contempt. I knew that couldn't be good, and had to look up what that meant. Then I tried to figure out why in the world I was supposed to be at court in the first place. I read the violation code and realize this has something to do with the dog ticket. I call the next day to see if I need to come down. I told them I paid it months ago...they have no record of it. They tell me there's a warrant out for my arrest. (Mike thinks this is hilarious...I lock Mike out of the room.)
Then they correct themselves, "I'm sorry, there isn't a warrant out for your arrest...if you miss another court date there will be". I find out I mysteriously missed 3 court dates for a violation that had been paid months earlier. I go there the next day and pay the dog ticket AGAIN, even though I have a record of the first time I paid it. I just want the whole thing to be done. They assure me that the case is closed.
2 days ago my doorbell rings. (I don't live in that same townhome anymore.) Guess who it is? Yep. POLICE -ANIMAL CONTROL. (I want to open the door and tell them to check on my new neighbor's underground daycare...) They told me they didn't have a record of the dog being licensed still. He just so happens to be wearing his city dog tag. No ticket this time. Just a misunderstanding... again. We're both going through life with our licenses.
So, if you are one to drive with your dog with you in the car, make sure you both have your license on you. It just might save you a whole lot of money if you ever get pulled over. Or if you're like me, it could also save you a whole lot of money if you never do.
God bless Hunter.
3 comments:
That's just one of many reasons why I am through with pet ownership!
Melissa, that is CRAZY!!!
This. is ABSURD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dog ownership should come with a MANUAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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