Today...

london is 8 months old...what???????

ashley & derek left for aussie land... so excited for them but i am going to miss them so much!

God is sovereign, Jesus is enough.

...and that's about all i've got to say :)

i want to be the one.

“I looked for someone who might rebuild the wall of righteousness that guards the land. I searched for someone to stand in the gap in the wall so I wouldn’t have to destroy the land, but I found no one." Ezekiel 22:30

When I heard one of my pastors read this verse the other night it hit me...HARD. This may be one of the saddest scriptures in the whole Bible to me. Here is God searching the entire nation of Israel for just 1 person to stand in the gap...one person to save the nation by the way they lived their life, by their prayers. All He needed was someone, not everyone...but He found NO ONE.

Too often we overlook verses like this thinking that it meant no one was living for God...no one loved Him or prayed to Him or even talked a lot about Him. We think we have nothing in common with these kinds of stories.

But if we search deep down inside to face the haunting question, the ugly truth is we aren't truly standing in the gap either. I'm not saying we don't love Him or pray to Him, or even talk a lot about Him...but are we willing to be there when HE NEEDS US? When our nation needs us? When God searches our nation for someone to stand in the gap will He say, "I found no one"? I believe He IS searching, and I want Him to find me. I want to be ready.

The words to this song has been resonating in my heart since Wednesday night:

"I will be the one who worships
With all of my attention
I want to be the one You're looking for
Are You looking for someone to love You?
Know my heart is with You
I want to be the one You're looking for

When we're finally face to face
All I want to hear You say
Is I have been the one You're looking for" ("I Call You Jesus", Frontline)

when He is seeking, will I be what He is looking for?

Ever just have one of "those" days?

Ever have those times when you think "why me?"

Ever think "I'm not good enough"?


I guarantee you have...but maybe you haven't. And I can almost guarantee you totally misunderstood me.

I'm having one of those days
where I wonder "why me"
I'm not good enough...

One of those days when I realize how incredibly blessed I am, and how much I don't deserve it. I have been crying a lot today, not out of sadness, but an overall appreciation for my life and everyone and everything in it. Crying for other people who don't have all I have been blessed with. Wishing the whole world could know what it feels like to be me...not for pity's sake, but because it feels really great to be me.

I bet that line made you uncomfortable. It would have made me feel a little uncomfortable to say at one time, but I'm done trying to feel sorry for myself and make the whole world feel sorry for me too. What is wrong with loving being me? NOTHING. And you need to love being you too!

Every moment of the day isn't rainbows and butterflies, but I am so thankful for my life. Today when Michael came home from work he brought me flowers. This doesn't happen all the time, and it happening today made it extra special. I sat down at the table as the aroma of roses filled my nostrils, staring at my man as he held our baby and just talked to me. I don't even know what he was talking about...it didn't matter. All I could think was "how did I get so blessed?". They both stared at me with their deep blue gray eyes and smiled simultaneously as my eyes filled with tears. They love me like no one on earth ever has, and I feel the same way about them.

I hope you know what this feels like...even though it has nothing to do with feelings at all. It's something that can't be faked or bought. It blows happiness, butterflies and sunny skies out of the water. It has nothing to do with where I am, where I am going, or who goes with me.

It's Joy! Joy unspeakable and full of glory! Joy that brings strength and life and hope!

Happiness is a rollercoaster. Joy is a foundation.

(...more to come...)

London is 12 weeks old!!!

Life has been so great! I got to spend a week in NJ with Londo...he did great on his first plane ride and finally got to meet his pop pop! I had a great time with family and friends, went down the shore with my sissy megan, saw my sissy Lee star in "Anything Goes", and got to see two of my childhood friends marry each other!! So wonderful :)



Last week we have our annual youth conference here at Antioch, and man God moved in some incredible ways!!! Life changing week for everyone involved!

(www.sandbergphoto.blogspot.com)

While I was in Jersey my friend Alicia had her little man Landon! He was born premature due to some complications...and wow, he is such a miracle! I got to see him for a few moments before I left to come back to KC. Please keep him and his parents (Tim & Alicia) in your prayers! He is still in the NICU, but making progress. He needs to get better with his eating before he can come home. Please say a prayer for them whenever you think of it...having your little guy in the NICU all hooked up to things is not easy!!! They want him home so bad! Please pray for this little miracle :)

Time flies!

Well, it has been awhile since I updated! Time flies when you are having fun! (And when you are sleep deprived). London is now 7 weeks old and doing amazingly! He is smiling a lot now, especially when I go in his room in the morning. I am not an early morning person, but that smile makes getting up early so worth it! He sleeps between 5-6 hours a night too, which he has been doing since he was 4 weeks. What a blessing!

That's just a quick little update...I have some thoughts brewing in my mind for a longer post, but they aren't quite formulated yet. I will get there!!

3 weeks

Well, London has been home for 2 weeks and is 3 weeks old! I can't figure out if the time has gone fast or feels like an eternity. I suppose it depends on the moment at which I am trying to figure it out lol.
Anyway, last week my mom was in town. She loved being here and I loved her being here! (I got to SLEEP!) Now my sister Megan is here and we are loving that! I have been sick since Sunday...doesn't seem to be getting better since I don't get much time to rest. But...I am doing the best I can!

I don't know what else to say...London is healthy and happy :) so...I'll just post some pics since that's what everyone really wants anyway!after his first real bath...which he loved!

with his grandmom :)getting ready to go to church on SundayI feel like he has grown so much in this last week!!"west side!" he totally did this on his own...and aunt megan has her camera phone ready!